McNally's Folly by Lawrence Sanders & Vincent Lardo

Author:Lawrence Sanders & Vincent Lardo [Sanders, Lawrence & Lardo, Vincent]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction, General, Mystery & Detective
ISBN: 9781453298312
Publisher: Open Road
Published: 2013-03-12T04:00:00+00:00

FIFTEEN

I DREAMED THAT ONE of my silk berets, the puce actually, turned into a turban, which I donned, and then I began sawing Connie in half—lengthwise. I awoke in a cold sweat, attributing the nightmare to retiring on an empty stomach. I doubt if Palm Beach’s resident psychiatrist, Dr. Gussie Pearlberg, would agree but I had no intention of asking her.

I slept late, yet again, showered and shaved. I once bought one of those mirrors that are coated so as not to fog in steamy atmospheres and, imitating the smiling guy in the advert, I attached it to my shower wall with waterproof cement so I could shave while sluicing and save all of ten minutes every morning. On my first attempt I noticed a red hue in the water swirling about my feet and aborted the procedure before drawing the razor across my throat. The experiment having failed, I removed the mirror, plucking out a tile along with it. If there is a lesson to be learned in all of this, it escapes me.

I rinsed with witch hazel, the best aftershave known to man, brushed my pearly whites and dabbed a bit of the smelly onto the nape of my neck. I tell all who ask that my scent is Royal Copenhagen, but it’s a lie. Actually, it is a very expensive blend whose name I refuse to divulge because I don’t want every man in Palm Beach who can afford it—which is every man, believe me—dousing themselves with my trademark.

I pulled on a pair of red briefs (the Chinese color of mourning) and a white T-shirt. This was as far as I got before my phone told me I was being hailed by someone fooling around with a similar instrument.

“Archy here.”

“What do you know, Archy?” It was Lolly Spindrift, already out gathering grist for his gossip mill.

“I know my stomach is gurgling. I haven’t had a proper meal in twenty-four hours.” People who call before breakfast should be hanged by the thumbs.

“I’m on my cell phone, outside the police station.”

People who call before breakfast from a cell phone should be hanged by the cojones. However, in Lolly Spindrift’s case, he might enjoy it. “Why are you calling me from outside the police station on your cell phone, Lol?”

“Because something el weirdo is going on inside the station house, that’s why.”

This conjured up all sorts of images, like our men in blue dancing cheek-to-cheek as the felons looked on approvingly. “You have ten seconds to tell me what this is all about, Lol, and then I’m hanging up. One—two— three...”

“Desdemona Darling and Lady Cynthia Horowitz arrived here at nine this morning and were met by the paparazzi who had been camping outside the station house since dawn.” Lolly spoke as if trying to get it all in before I reached ten. “Desdemona gave the boys a statement prepared by her flack in Hollywood.

“They went into the station house and have not been seen or heard from since.”

“What’s that supposed

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